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3 Tips to Embrace the Power of Saying “No”

By Alyson Poling

How does the word “no” make you feel?  Do you think of failure, defeat, or disappointment? No is an important word with a lot of power, but it obviously has a negative connotation. Let’s just say it doesn’t give us the warm fuzzies like the word “yes.” 

For many of us, it’s also much harder to say. Do you normally take time to think through an invitation or opportunity to make sure it’s something that fulfills your purpose? Or do you find yourself saying yes out of obligation or guilt? My guess is the latter, because many people think saying no will lead to hurting someone’s feelings. However, the more we say yes, the crazier our lives get and the more we may lose focus on what’s really important.

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Consider this: Some of the most successful people in the world say no to most things, so they can say yes to the few things that bring them closer to their purpose.  

What better time of year is there to focus on the idea of saying no? Consider it a New Year’s resolution. Sure, responding yes to every event is tempting, but what happens when you get closer to the main event?  Are you tired, depleted, stressed, run-down, or sick? That’s not fun for anyone.

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Remember, feeling fulfilled and energized is the ultimate goal. To do this, you need to start thinking differently about the word no. Essentially, it’s time to be more strategic with your time. Consider each opportunity thrown your way and answer from a place of honesty, not guilt. 

Here are a few tips to empower you to say no the next time something comes up that doesn’t align with your goals.

How To Embrace the Power of Saying No

1. Start Journaling

What is your purpose?  Ask yourself this question and write down what’s most important to you, how you want to spend your time, and what you want in life. Your answer here will set the stage for how you choose to spend your time. Refer back to your journal often to keep this intention fresh in your mind.

2. Don’t Respond Immediately

The next time an opportunity is presented to you, don’t answer immediately. In our world of instant gratification, we are quick to answer to check it off our list. Instead of responding without much thought, kindly respond, “Thanks, I’ll get back to you soon!” This gives you time to think through your answer to make sure it aligns with your intention but also lets them know you received the invite. (You can always set an alarm on your phone to remind you to get back to them so you don’t forget.)

3. Say No Clearly, With Intention

Will this bring me joy or help me fulfill my intention? Here is where the power of no really comes into play. If you find that a party is not how you intended to spend your weekend or if the plan doesn’t bring you joy or fulfillment, then you need to do what’s best for you and say no. Explain that you’re unable to attend because you’re taking time to focus on whatever you wrote down as your intention. Or simply say, “I’m busy, thanks for the invite!” You’ll feel empowered and happy that you put yourself and your intentions first. And hey, you never know, you just might even inspire or motivate someone else to start doing the same in their own life.

(Featured Image: Shutterstock)

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