self-compassion

How to Focus on Self Compassion

The end of a rough winter season can sometimes cause frustration, inner criticism, and exhaustion. But instead of telling yourself: “I’ll feel better in spring,” why not start reversing this trend now. The reward will be for you, and also for your loved ones. Kristin Neff, leading researcher in self compassion, shares “Having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to go. You will encounter frustrations, incur losses, make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, and fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition…a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life.”’ Have you made or kept many plans this year? No? We can relate. But, let’s change that. One plan you can make and keep during this intense time is your self care. Feed your spirit by quieting your inner critic, embracing mindfulness, and reinforcing your rest and recharge button. Here’s how to start now: Quiet Inner Critic You know the voice, right? It nags…“I can’t believe you said that.” Or, “You look so fat in those pants.” Or, “You’re never going to get an invite to that meeting/party/event.” The inner critic is relentless! We talk to ourselves in ways we would never talk to a friend. I have heard some say that self-criticism is what motivates them. Instead, we should go with a shot of encouragement over criticism any day for lasting motivation. Moods are directly connected to our thought patterns. If you exclusively pour in negative self-talk, criticism, and judgment, it will be difficult to feel happy or calm—which then hinders our ability to be productive and provide love to ourselves and others. I am not discounting productive criticism, but how one goes about the process is the key. Detach from harshness and embrace a more positive approach. Allowing your inner critic and negative self-talk to be in charge increases overall anxiety and depression. Begin by noticing how often your inner voice goes in this unhelpful direction. Journaling can assist this process when you’re in a negative spiral. It can be difficult and unrealistic to jump quickly from the extreme of a negative mood to the extreme of a positive one. Start with something more neutral such as “I will figure this out”, “I am able to try a new plan”, or “I can trust myself.” Think of how you would respond to a friend in need of a boost in confidence. Now, extend yourself the same gift. Embrace Mindfulness I know you keep seeing this recommendation over and over. The reason why you cannot get away from mindfulness meditation is simple—the research overwhelmingly supports this habit in any stress-reducing and self-care plan. Jon Kabat- Zinn, developer of MBSR (Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction), shares research stating, “There is a strong link between meditation, positive emotions, and a healthier immune system.” I hear clients say all the time, “I can’t meditate because my mind never stops!” This is not about clearing your mind and having no thoughts. Mindfulness is about noticing, helping to break common rumination cycles we find ourselves in, and interrupting our knee-jerk reactions to life. The goal is finding a stillness and quiet within you. You take in so much information every day. Between the news cycle, social media, or family and friends, plan the time to sift through the noise and find your inner quiet. You make better decisions from this place, connect deeper to loved ones, and work more productively. There are numerous videos online to help you walk through a guided meditation or experiment with an app. I like to simply set a timer on my phone for five minutes, and just sit and focus on my breath going in and out. Reinforce rest and recharge There are many ways to go about recharging your batteries. Start with asking yourself, “What would make me feel better today?” It is important to get in touch with how you’re truly feeling. Perhaps it’s more rest, cultivating connections with others, or extending yourself some patience which will be nurturing at that moment. Pure isolation is not beneficial for mental health. Extend yourself some patience and grace right now. We’re all in this together, although everyone’s exact circumstance looks different. Let’s face it, all of our lives have been turned upside down. It would be abnormal for you not to feel somewhere between uneasy and completely overwhelmed. Acknowledge wherever you are today, and also acknowledge that this moment will not last forever. Author Shauna Niequist encourages us by saying, “Now I know that the best thing I can offer this world is not my force or energy, but a well-tended spirit, and a wise and brave soul.” If you can tweak a few of your daily practices to tend to your spirit, not only will you be brave to face the day, but it will be contagious to those around you to do the same. (Image: Shutterstock)

Can You Be Body Positive and Still Want to Lose Weight?

By Keri Glassman, RD and founder of Nutritious Life The body positivity movement is in full force: The #bodypositive hashtag has been used over 11 million times on Instagram, and the shift inspired both designers and advertisers to cater to more diverse body types in their clothing and campaigns. With 30 million people suffering from an eating disorder in the U.S. alone, this is undeniably a good thing. We need to embrace our bodies, not shame them and wish they resembled the images we see in high-fashion ads. RELATED: 5 Common Myths About Eating Disorders Still, many people want to drop pounds with the support of their dietitian or health professional, and as one of those dietitians, I wholeheartedly support people in this endeavor. For those above a healthy weight, shedding pounds can undoubtedly improve markers of health, reducing their risk of heart disease and certain cancers, ultimately lengthening their lifespan. So yes, weight loss is a good thing for many people, but that doesn’t mean you need to abandon body positivity in the process. In fact, I’d argue that practicing more body-love can help you hit your weight loss goals. How high self-esteem promotes healthy habits Research suggests that higher self-esteem may lead to healthier choices. A Pediatric Obesity study shows that kids who are bullied are more likely to gain weight. You might think teasing would be a motivator of sorts, eventually leading to weight loss…But the truth is, weight loss is so much more complicated than that. The authors note that body dissatisfaction may lead to unhealthy behaviors, like binge eating, and say that stress hormones might play a role too. (Of course, bullying has a slew of way more serious side effects, including self-harm and suicide.) I’d say the same reasoning also holds true for adults who are mean to themselves. Think about it: If you like and value someone, you’re more likely to treat them well, listen to them, and honor their needs, right? Well, the same goes for your body. The best weight loss plans emphasize making choices because you love your body, not because you hate it. It means saying no! to fad diets and starving yourself, and yes! to empowered eating and healthy foods that give you energy, the whole philosophy behind the Nutritious Life Eat Empowered pillar. RELATED: The Step-By-Step Guide to Mindful Eating You’re allowed to have complicated emotions about your body Look, our relationships with our bodies are complicated: One day we might love the way we look (say, after an empowering workout), and the next we might feel more meh (ahem, Day 1 of your period). That’s okay, and it’s all part of the process. It’s unrealistic to love the way you look every single day, but in your more negative moments, I hope you can embrace some more #bodyneutrality and practice forgiveness. Ultimately, it’s okay to make changes to your diet and exercise regimen—for health or for vanity—as long as you do it the healthy way. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen any body-positivity posts telling people to eat endless amounts of sugar and stop working out. Body positivity is about finding workouts you truly love, eating well, and being honest about your needs in the moment. It’s not about throwing your goals out the window. It’s about finding balance and being nice—and those are things we can all practice, weight loss goals or not. (Photo: Shutterstock)