The Performance-Boosting Power of Positive Self-Talk
Positive self-talk isn’t just an athlete’s secret weapon. Decades of research shows that positive self-talk boosts performance, builds mental toughness, and regulates emotions whenever you take on a challenging task. Can we use our thoughts in a high-stakes moment to better our performance? For this, we can turn to the sports psychology field for some coaching. What does science say about positive self-talk? I’m not an athlete, but I’ve always admired athletes for their total focus and ability to perform under pressure. When Stephen Curry makes his game-deciding free throws, I imagine time slows down for him and everything extraneous is filtered out. But I also wonder—is there anything else going through his head in that moment? Does he say something to himself to make the magic happen? Maybe he does! It turns out that positive self-talk is an athlete’s secret weapon. A 2020 study of three 800-meter runners found that using self-talk consistently made them run faster and feel mentally tougher. They didn’t necessarily think their speed was any different, but their performances spoke for themselves. How to Make Positive Self-Talk Work for You Positive self-talk is exactly what it sounds like—you literally talk to yourself in a motivating, encouraging, and confidence-boosting way. You might even add some coaching instructions. (Think Mohammed Ali and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!”) Now, whether you’re an athlete or not, you can try this method for yourself next time you’re about to make a tie-breaking serve or give a career-changing presentation. Here’s how to put positive self-talk to work for you. 1. Start early. Positive effects are especially strong when you’re a novice. Gigi Fernandez is a retired and celebrated tennis player with seventeen Grand Slam doubles titles and two Olympic gold medals. Earlier in her career, she and her coach came up with computerized self-talk exercises to help her redirect her negative self-talk. This helped her to stay focused and relaxed on the court. But you don’t need to be a Tennis Hall of Famer to use this performance booster. In fact, a big review of a few dozen self-talk sports studies found that this method was more consistently effective for novice and youth athletes than for competition-level athletes. It’s not that positive self-talk harmed elite athletes, it just didn’t show benefit as often. 2. When the task is simple, keep the self-talk simple: just tell yourself you can do it. Don’t worry, your motivational self-talk doesn’t have to be as eloquent as the speech Coach Herb Brooks (played by Kurt Russell) gives to the U.S. Olympic Hockey Team in the 2004 film Miracle. Just keep it simple. Especially if what you’re about to do is a straightforward action with lots of muscle memory behind it, like running a 100-meter dash or throwing a dart. You just have to hype yourself up a bit. In fact, one of the original self-talk experiments simply told people to tell themselves either, “you can do it” or, “you can’t do it” before throwing darts. You can guess which type of self-talk put the darts closer to the bullseye! Why does this work? These simple, motivational self-talk phrases slightly increase your heart rate, but otherwise reduce sudden changes in your heart rate. This is basically keying up your body for performance while keeping you steady—exactly what you need for a boost. 3. When the task is complex or new, talk yourself through what to do. Sometimes, it’s helpful to get more specific than, “you can do it.” If you’re doing a complex task or something you’ve never done before, talk yourself through the steps as if you’re your own instructional video. In one study, novice golfers who gave themselves instructional self-talk ended up with superior putting technique compared to when they tried to hype themselves up with motivation. This could be due to their self-talk cueing up a brain activity pattern associated with top-down control, which you need when learning something new or doing something complicated. 4. Don’t just wait for your inner voice to start talking—do it actively. NFL players have been caught using self-talk on the field. One thing you’ll notice about the way they do it is how deliberate they are. They don’t just react when something goes well or gets messed up. Instead, they’re giving themselves pep talks while warming up, on the bench, or when they’re about to start a down. There’s a good reason for this. In stressful situations, like when something makes them anxious or angry, athletes’ spontaneous self-talk tends to be negative. On the other hand, if they’re not waiting for their own automatic reactions, but rather, proactively using self-talk, the message tends to be more positive and motivating. So don’t wait for your inner voice to come up with encouragement. Feed it to yourself before your big moment on stage, on the field, or in the conference room. 5. Talk to yourself in the third person for better emotion regulation. This one is my favorite. Although I’m not an athlete, I’m definitely someone who talks out loud to herself in the third person. This can sound silly, but psychological science supports this practice! A brain imaging study showed that when you think about a bad memory or see something aversive, talking to yourself in the third person activates your self-control brain areas less than if you talk in the first person. This means that you need to use less self-control to regulate emotions when you say, “Hey Jade, it’s OK. You’ve got this,” compared to, “I’ve got this.” This effect might happen because third person self-talk creates a slight illusion that you’re talking to someone else, which provides enough psychological distance to make emotion regulation easier. And when it comes to emotion regulation in high-stakes situations, any help we can get is a good thing. A version of this article was originally published on Quick and Dirty Tips. Learn More About the Fascinating Link Between Nutrition and Brain Health Improving your cognitive and
Why Daphne Oz Unapologetically Prioritizes Herself
Wellness is essentially part of Daphne Oz’s DNA. The daughter of two health experts, Dr. Memet Oz and Lisa Oz, she grew up with health trends and the latest nutrition stats as regular dinner conversation. So it’s not surprising that she’s dedicated her life to healthy living. The New York Times bestselling author, chef, and former Emmy Award-winning co-host of ABC’s The Chew has recently added beauty entrepreneur to her resume. Oz is the co-owner of LOUM, the new ethically formulated, clean beauty brand featuring products that are specifically created to fight the negative signs of stress on skin. “I’ve always been a product junkie and loved researching the latest and greatest in clean living and personal care,” Oz tells Nutritious Life. “Obviously food is my first medicine, but I love a holistic inside-meets-outside approach to health and beauty.” We chatted with Oz about how the pandemic has actually helped her find more sanity, go-to healthy meals, and why she unapologetically prioritizes self-care. Read on to learn how she lives a nutritious life and steal her tips on prioritizing what’s important. Tell us, how has life changed for you since the beginning of the pandemic? The pandemic has forced, or shall I say allowed, all of us to reprioritize. The beginning was so hard because I thought I could just keep doing everything with basically no boundaries between home and work, plus distance learning. Needless to say, that was misguided. I had to figure out what my new markers for success and efficiency were going to look like. It definitely took a few crashes and burns to realize I was being unrealistic, and also that being ruthless with the things that do not matter (a stoic guiding principle my grandmother turned me onto that has basically become my life motto this year!) could give me back a little bit of sanity. My goal is to be able to be fully present—focused on what I’m doing at work when I’ve carved out the time for that and then completely present when I’m spending time with my husband and kids. My kids are back in school now which has made a world of difference. I think one thing we will always hold onto is that taking time to really unwind and stop feeling pulled in 100 different directions is as valuable for happiness as anything else we actively do to find that balance. Why did you want to partner with LOUM? Throughout my life and especially as a busy working mom of 4, I can see that the more stressed I am, the worse I look and feel. When the LOUM team shared their research showing the link between stress and our skin, I wasn’t surprised, but I was shocked this was the first line that really set out to be the “antidote” to stress on skin. Our mind and our skin are hardwired together and when we are stressed out, it shows up so clearly on our skin as wrinkles, dryness, dullness, and even oiliness and breakouts. Clean beauty is hard to achieve. What were your priorities with this brand? Our skin is our largest organ, so what we put on our skin truly matters especially if we stay consistent like we’re supposed to. I look at the ingredients of everything that I put into my body, from food to skincare, so it was crucial to me that any line I partnered with be clean according to the highest standards possible (free of toxic parabens, silicones and hormone-disruptors). Another really important piece of the puzzle for me was an easy skincare routine. Something straightforward enough to be used every day without adding more stress to your life. We’re all busy! Self-care has to be easy and effective if we’re going to stick with it. What causes you stress? How do you alleviate that stress? Life is stressful, especially now. Deadlines, headlines, everyday kid concerns, the fact that there is no such thing as getting to the bottom of a never-ending to-do list. I try to look at stress as motivation, a chance to get rid of things that toxically overwhelm me where I can and to try to handle the things I can’t totally control with less resistance. The only way I find mental and emotional stamina to do any of this is with great relationships that I invest in, and one of those is with myself. I try to make a little time for myself every day, whether that means a calming skincare ritual, cooking for my family, or working out. One of the motherhood quotes we hear often is “You can’t pour from an empty vessel,” and I think this is a big learning from the past year. If we take good care of ourselves, it will enable us to better take care of those around us. What are your go-to healthy meals? Breakfast: I’m obsessed with these healthy pancakes I started making for the kids and now enjoy a couple mornings a week myself. They are basically oatmeal plus a protein shake as pancakes which basically equals perfect! Lunch: I load up on salads at lunch, usually with arugula (my favorite), a dollop of hummus, tons of crunchy peppers, cucumbers, carrots, shaved raw beets, and a quick lemony shallot vinaigrette. I will sometimes pair with a quick open faced sandwich on sprouted Ezekial toast with turkey or a thin spread of almond butter, especially if I got a workout in. My other favorite is veggie scrambles. I basically use it as a chance to sauté any leftovers and veggies in my fridge with a little olive oil and coconut aminos and tamari, scramble with eggs and scallions, serve with a little avocado and plenty of hot sauce! Dinner: Usually we have a larger protein, usually chicken or fish that we’ll grill or roast, though maybe we’ll do a steak once or twice a month. We do lots of roasted veggies, we all love them. I’m a huge
How Cheer’s Monica Aldama Motivates Herself to Stay Active
The definition of “cheer” is “a shout of encouragement, praise, or joy”, and “to bring confidence.” That is exactly how we’d describe Netflix’s Cheer star and Dancing With the Stars competitor, Monica Aldama. As the cheerleading coach for Navarro College for the past 25 years, she has built one of the most successful cheer programs in the U.S., leading her squads to win 14 national championships. Known for her continuous optimism and her hallmark phrase, “You keep going until you get it right, then keep going until you can’t get it wrong,” Aldama has inspired not only her team but the millions of fans she’s garnered after the success of her Netflix documentary. The DWTS fan favorite is now launching a series of encouraging videos called “Coach Talks” with Robitussin Naturals to help spread more of her signature confidence boosting. “Anyone who knows me knows I’m equal parts tough and love, and I lead my team with both any time they face an obstacle that could interfere with achieving victory,” she says. We sat down with the coach to share how she’s handled the stress of the pandemic, ways she prioritizes her health, and how she stays focused. Here’s how Monica Aldama lives a nutritious life: How have things changed for you since COVID-19 hit? What has been your biggest challenge, and how have you worked to overcome it? Covid-19 brought an abrupt ending to my 2020 cheer season and the way we operate at Navarro College. All classes went online in March, and I had to tell my cheerleaders goodbye with only a few hours notice. My daughter’s classes were moved online as well, so my kids were both at home for several months. The bright side of it all…we were able to have great quality time together as a family when things were shut down. I was hopeful that things would be better by the fall semester, but with each passing day, it became clear that the pandemic would also affect our 2020-21 school year. We are very blessed to have our school open with the ability to have face-to-face classes. However, things are very different with how we practice and how classes are held. I thrive with structure and organization and like to have my calendar up to date for the entire year. The ever-changing climate of the pandemic has been my biggest challenge. I have not been able to plan dates for the spring and don’t really know how things will play out. Through very tough situations, I tend to look at the positives and remind myself of the things I am grateful for in my life. An attitude of gratitude gets me through the challenges in my life. What is bringing you hope? I am a very optimistic person, so I always find hope in something. The world can be a scary place at times, but I truly believe that most people are still good. I am hopeful that we can find ourselves showing more kindness and love to each other. Personally, I am trying to stay positive during a time I never thought I would witness – a pandemic. I am hopeful that we can find a cure, that positive rates will drop, and that we will be able to repair the damage done physically, mentally, and financially. What are some of your tips to stay focused…especially now? Staying focused can be hard in an environment that is constantly changing. Make a list of attainable, short-term goals, and focus on accomplishing those week by week. I remind myself that I cannot control outcomes—I can only affect my own actions. I stay organized by making a daily to-do list and do the hardest tasks first. I also keep distractions away, especially social media. How often do you exercise, and what’s your workout of choice? My exercise regimen is determined by what season it is with my job. I tend to have sporadic and long hours depending on what sports are playing, as well as the Daytona season which can affect the consistency of my exercise schedule. My go-to workout is an HITT workout that I do at home or go to a class at our local gym. My family is very active, and we enjoy taking long walks together to get our steps in for the day. We also do a lot of our HITT workouts together and keep each other accountable and motivated. It definitely helps when your family is all on board to live the same healthy lifestyle. If you had to name your healthy diet, what would you call it? Why? I guess if I had to name my healthy diet/lifestyle, I would call it “The Monica” because I essentially do what works best for me. With a job and active lifestyle like mine, wellness and a healthy diet are so important. I personally prefer food and products with natural ingredients whenever possible. My husband and kids are health conscious as well, so we try to eat by the 80/20 rule. We eat a lot of grilled chicken. We also make homemade salsa every week with fresh tomatoes and peppers. I actually have been doing intermittent fasting for quite some time. How do you express and spread love? Anyone that knows me knows I tend to express “tough love.” With my Cheer team, I love them as my own children, but I also push them to be the best they can be. I tend to share this same sense of encouragement and tough love with everyone in my life. I push those around me to be their best self. After the year we have all had, everyone can use some cheering on! What is your evening routine to wind down at the end of the day? I always end my day with a long, hot bath. It relaxes me and allows me time to decompress and let my mind rest. (photo credit: Getty Images)
How to Make a Results List
Feeling energized, healthy and focused in quarantine can often feel impossible. It’s so easy to mindlessly munch on chips or get distracted by everything we have happening around us—especially when we’re feeling stressed or anxious. But, Rachel Hollis thinks we can come out of this challenging time stronger and even better than before. Entrepreneur and author of self-help books “Girl, Wash Your Face” and “Girl, Stop Apologizing,” Hollis inspires her nearly 2 million followers to reach for a better version of themselves every day though inspiring, easy-to-try tips. And, while she always strives to put her mental health first, the mother of four is no stranger to stress, criticism and overcoming obstacles. In her recent book, Didn’t See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart, Hollis writes how she’s turned difficult moments in her life into learning experiences (and how we can, too). She shares how we can grow from life’s disasters rather than allowing ourselves to be overcome by the negativity. She says, “You don’t need a catastrophic event to appreciate the good things in your life. What I want you to hear me say right here up front is, I get it. I’d like to look you in the eyes and tell you that you’re strong enough to survive this—even on days that feel impossible. You are strong enough, and it is possible to come out the other side as a better version of yourself.” Hollis sits down with Nutritious Life to talk about how she is staying focused, calm and healthy in these challenging times. Right now, we are all overwhelmed with endless to-do lists and never enough time in the day. How are you prioritizing now? There is a saying, “If everything is a priority, then nothing is.” It’s so true. Many people will attempt to be productive by making a ‘to-do’ list. Instead, I make a ‘results’ list. Before diving into my workday, I list the 2 to 3 results I need to achieve that day. It’s never a longer list than what ensures I can focus on what actually matters most. Speaking of focus, how can we stay more focused? What are some things that work for you? In order to stay focused, I need to eliminate all distractions. Now that we’re working entirely virtual, I get pings and emails all day long alerting me to different projects. But, when I need to focus on one project like writing a manuscript or preparing for a keynote, everything else needs to fade into the background. I shut off my phone and remove all notifications from my computer. I also communicate with my team that I’m “heads down” on a project, and ask them not to disturb me unless the building is on fire. You recently launched an app, RISE. Can you share a little about how it can benefit people? The RISE App is what I needed in a health app fifteen years ago when I first started my health journey. At the time, I couldn’t run a mile, and soda was my every-day beverage of choice. I felt intimidated by fit people and fitness, in general. So, I created what I needed back then for people who need it today. The app helps people discover that moving your body can be fun. I love that we created a space in the fitness industry which is one big party. We just don’t take ourselves that seriously. Dancing around your living room is a real cardio workout, y’all! If this were high school, The RISE App would be glee club. It’s where anybody is welcome, and everybody is quirky. If you have long felt out of place in traditional gyms, workout classes or other fitness apps, we know that you’ll feel welcome in our community. How often do you exercise, and what’s your workout of choice? I move my body for thirty minutes every single day, no matter what. It doesn’t always look like “traditional” exercise. My favorite movement is a long-distance run around the lake here in Austin, or I spend a half hour dancing to Beyonce, or just stretching because my body is begging for it. I’m very interested in intuitive health… listening and responding to what my body is asking for so my workouts are constantly changing. How do you motivate yourself to work out? We live in an age of instant gratification where people think there’s a secret sauce to “motivation.” Here’s the truth…I’ve made a daily habit of working out so I don’t have to motivate myself. It’s like brushing my teeth. I never have to work myself up to brushing my teeth in the morning because the habit is so ingrained in my everyday life. It would feel foreign not to do it. My best advice for people looking for motivation is to make exercise a habit. The way to establish a habit is by repetition. Set a goal to do something active every day for a week. Then, keep going. After 21 days, studies show that action becomes a habit. But, don’t stop there. After 90 days of the same behavior, it’s part of your lifestyle. It’s a practice that has been life-changing for me and thousands more in our community. If you had to name your healthy diet, what would you call it? “Not exciting, but very effective.” I’ve gotten my diet down to a science of what gives me the most energy and mental clarity. That means I eat the same things on repeat almost every day, and then one meal a week, I live my best life. I love to eat and I love to cook, so I’m constantly looking for new, indulgent recipes to test out when it’s time to treat myself. Has it been hard to stay on track with your nutrition while in quarantine? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to order takeout several nights a week in quarantine. We all have, right? On occasion,
Breast Cancer Will Never Define Me
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And while the month is widely observed by many countries across the world that are working to increase attention and support for early detection and treatment, there is still so much that we don’t understand about this disease. Currently, there are nearly 4 million women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States alone. In fact, one-in-eight women will be diagnosed in their lifetime. Paige Stables is one of those women. Before being diagnosed, she was living in New York City as an up-and-coming star in the magazine industry. As a beauty editor, Stables (who is currently the beauty editor for Allure) was covering the latest trends (trying every new bronzer, dry shampoo and serum that came to market), traveling the world, and attending exclusive parties in the city. She was doing everything you might imagine someone in their mid-20s in Manhattan would be doing. She was living her own Carrie Bradshaw life. As she puts it, “Humbly speaking, life was really good.” Stables was a healthy, 26-year-old vegetarian who worked out regularly and took care of her body. She never felt sick or showed any symptoms of breast cancer; but, after giving herself a self-breast exam, she discovered a lump (one that was missed by her routine exam just four days earlier). “When I saw my doctor, her first words were… ‘You’re very young,’ as if I had nothing to be concerned about,” Stables told Nutritious Life. “But, everything escalated quickly.” Stables gives us a glimpse into her experience, and shares why breast cancer will never define her. Paige, you shared that you were healthy, feeling great, and mentioned that doctors didn’t diagnose you right away. Can you share a little about that? At the beginning of every year, I schedule my annual physical exam. Everything checked out, including the routine breast exam. But, four days later, the first of the month when I do my self-breast exams (something I was taught to do monthly), it was then that I felt a lump in my right breast. When I contacted my doctor (the same one I had been to four days prior), they were dismissive, emphasizing that I had just been in several days ago. A week passed by, and I knew things didn’t feel right. I didn’t know exactly what, but in my heart, I knew it was something. The next morning, I called the doctor and said, “I’m coming in today. Let me know when you can see me.” I received the response, “Can you be here in 15 minutes?” (You can’t get to most places in 15 minutes in New York during rush hour—or ever.) I managed to get there in time and when I saw my doctor, her first words were, “You’re very young,” as if I had nothing to be concerned about…but everything escalated quickly. What was your diagnosis and treatment plan? Four weeks and three days after that appointment with my OBGYN, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy and was diagnosed with stage two Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS). Initially, I expected to have chemotherapy; however, around the same time I was going to begin treatment, the findings of the TAIKORx Breast Cancer Trial were released which showed I wouldn’t gain substantial benefit from chemotherapy. Timing is everything. Since then, I’ve been doing endocrine therapy. Wow, that is a lot happening in a very short time. It must have been scary. How was your support network? I was blessed with the absolute best support network—and, I don’t take this for granted. No one should ever have to go through breast cancer, especially alone. In an instant, your entire world changes, and you are faced with every unknown. Being surrounded by the love and strength of family is invaluable. My fiancé, my parents, my younger brother, and my brother’s girlfriend made countless sacrifices for me, and because of them, I was able to make my health my priority. And, I was also incredibly lucky to have loving friends and caring colleagues who cheered me on every step of my journey and continued to be more supportive than I could have ever asked for. Throughout all the ups and downs, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to tell me, “You don’t look sick” or “I would have never known.” While I’m grateful it wasn’t apparent, my appearance certainly didn’t determine the magnitude of my diagnosis and experience. For me, it’s a significant reminder to treat everyone the same; never assume anything about anyone; don’t judge others. You never know what’s going on in someone’s life. Thinking about our self-confidence and the idea of identity—were you nervous this experience would change you? My body changed. My life changed. Everything changed. But, I’m still me. Breast cancer will never define me. I would say, I grew rather than changed. Post diagnosis, what was your experience like? I felt like time stopped with the heartache of my diagnosis; but at the same time, life sped up from the moment I heard the news until my mastectomy. When you are told, “You have breast cancer,” there is no guide that comes along with it. So, I found myself navigating all of these changes, trying to determine the best plan of action, and all the while making major life-changing decisions. I met with three different oncology surgeons—at three different hospitals—and every single one had a different approach. I’m so grateful I had a window of time to find the team I trusted wholeheartedly, and I am forever grateful for my doctors at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. What was it like to go back to work? I was excited to go back to work and return to my routine. Not only am I passionate about what I do and love the creativity of it, being away from the office made me miss my colleagues and the happiness of our team dynamic. To me, there is no better community than the beauty industry. I have
Jillian Michaels Finds Meaning and Motivation in Challenging Times
When it comes to our own personal fitness journeys, it’s easy for us to get overwhelmed with advice. Celebrity trainer and New York Times bestselling author Jillian Michaels wants us to stop getting caught up in all that noise. As one of the world’s leading fitness experts, Michaels has helped millions of people achieve their wellness goals. While many know her for her tough-as-nails approach on The Biggest Loser, now Jillian wants to help us all find our drive. “It’s all about your why,” she explains to Nutritious Life. “Why do you want to be motivated in the first place?” Michaels created the Jillian Michaels Fitness App to help people get moving, no matter your level of fitness. And working out helps more than just your muscles. ““When we feel strong physically, we feel strong in all facets of our lives,” she adds. Michaels opens up to Nutritious Life about setting goals, how to find motivation (especially now), and her “common sense” diet. How have things changed for you since COVID-19 hit? What has been your biggest challenge, and how have you worked to overcome it? Well, I have been far more fortunate than most. I am lucky enough to be working and have my home. The challenge for me personally has been having the kids out of school, camp, and other activities they used to engage in. It’s been really hard on them not having their friends or regular routine; and it’s been extremely hard for me to maintain my work and self-care schedules trying to tend to them each day. That said, we adapt and innovate. So whether we all get active together, or we just don’t get things done as “perfectly” as we did before- we are getting by and I am grateful for that. What are some of your tips to stay focused? Especially now. I believe that we should transmute any hardship into an opportunity for growth. Is this a wake up call to get healthy? Is it an opportunity to innovate your business? Is it a time to get closer with family? Or, maybe it’s a message to slow down and streamline? Look to bring a meaning to this and in that you will find focus because there is a purpose. Do you prefer to workout in the morning or evening? I workout whenever I have a moment. And there is no right or wrong time. The most important thing is fitting it in and if you have the luxury of choosing when that might be, then listen to your body. If you have more energy in the morning, do it then. If exercise at night keeps you up, make sure to fit it in earlier in the day. How often do you exercise, and what’s your workout of choice? I workout four to five times a week for about 30 minutes straight. Sometimes a little longer. I mix everything up. I hike, kickbox, ride my road bike, do HIIT training, calisthenics and yoga. Keeping variety in your regimen keeps the body constantly progressing and it helps to keep you from getting bored. How do you motivate yourself (and your clients!) to workout? It’s all about your why. Why do you want to be motivated in the first place? Think of the detailed ways your quality of life will improve. Keep some very specific goals in mind that you are passionate about. Is it wearing a two-piece instead of a one-piece? Feeling more comfortable naked? Walking your daughter down the aisle? Or maybe getting ready for your own wedding? It doesn’t matter how profound or superficial your reason for getting fit is, as long as it matters to you. For me personally—it’s my livelihood. So, I have a built-in motivation to keep it together. Plus, I want to be a role model for my kids. And, personally, I want to feel good in my skin. Strong. Healthy. Powerful. Fitness makes me feel that way. If you had to name your healthy diet, what would you call it? The common sense diet. Eat a variety of foods in their most whole, unprocessed form. Don’t eat things that aren’t food like fake fats, fake colors, fake flavors and sweeteners, pesticides, antibiotics, and hormones. Don’t overeat. Common sense. Has it been hard to stay on track with your nutrition while in quarantine? No, because I am motivated to take this time and take on fitness challenges I’ve never achieved, like becoming proficient at jump rope or performing a 10-second handstand. And my diet is the same always. It’s not too strict to stick to. What’s your go-to breakfast? I mix it up, but lately I’ve been really into understanding more about the role our microbiome plays in our overall health. So, I’ve been having organic Greek yogurt with banana, berries, pecans, and walnuts. This gives me the probiotics and prebiotics, all three macros, and a host of micronutrients and antioxidants. Your go-to workday lunch? A salad with protein, like a grilled salmon salad. What’s the one food you always have in your fridge? Lucky Jack organic nitro cold brew coffee. Is that a food? Your favorite food indulgence? Wine! Other than water, what do you sip regularly? Tea and coffee, but organic only. What causes you stress? Work is hugely stressful as it is, nevermind during a pandemic! Practicing my self-care routine helps immensely. I get my sleep, meditate, and take some time to do things I love like surfing and horseback riding. I also play with my kids and see the friends that are in my quarantine circle. How do you express and spread love? This comes down to common sense kindness. Remember that book All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten? Use your manners. Say hello. Wave. Practice small acts of kindness that don’t put you out, but go a long way for another person, like allowing them to merge in traffic. Don’t hurt people to get ahead. Try to put
5 Expert Tips to Manage Uncertainty During a Seriously Difficult Time
Remember when you used to have some idea of what your next few months would look like? Maybe you had a daily workout-work-home schedule that varied a little day-to-day but was mostly pretty consistent? Maybe you were looking forward to big things you had planned months or years in the future (vacations! weddings!) and also had financial and career goals that you felt like you could accurately chart over the next five years? And now, since the COVID-19 pandemic started, it’s become clear that the only thing any of us can be certain of is that we’re all going to be living with a lot of uncertainty for quite a while. We don’t know when cases will start to really decline, and when it seems like things are getting better, they get worse. We don’t know when a vaccine will be ready. Many people have been laid off and don’t know when—or even if—they’ll get their jobs back. Parents don’t know if their kids will be going back to school. Even the disease itself is unpredictable, which can make the fear of it even worse. And studies show that while more research is needed, the stress of uncertainty is associated with negative mental health outcomes. The good news is: While the amount of uncertainty we all have to deal with at the same time is new, the problem itself is embedded in the human condition. (Let’s be honest: We can’t ever really predict what’s going to happen minute to minute.) So, many psychologists and meditation and mindfulness experts have been thinking about the question of how to manage it for a very long time. To help you muddle through this stressful time, we pulled together some of their best advice on living with and managing uncertainty. And here’s something to look forward to: many experts believe that learning to do so will help you build resilience for a happier life long-term, no matter what in the world is happening. 5 Mindfulness Tips to Manage Uncertainty 1. “Say hello” to suffering Both COVID-19 and the movement for racial justice require constant interaction with suffering—whether you’re the one affected or are watching it all play out on CNN. And the uncertainty of when the suffering will ease or end is difficult to handle. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of the most legendary Buddhist monks and global spiritual teachers. In his book, No Mud, No Lotus, he says that while the urge to ignore or distract ourselves from suffering is strong (i.e. swap CNN for Netflix?), doing so will only make it worse. Happiness is not about avoiding suffering, he says, it’s learning “the art of suffering well,” and that means facing it without letting it consume you. “The first step in the art of transforming suffering is to come home to our suffering and recognize it,” he writes. Mindfulness practices can help you do that. When you’re focused on building awareness of the present moment, you can recognize suffering, “tenderly embrace” it, and then transform it. That could be as simple as stopping to recognize tension or pain in your body, where you’ve been holding onto suffering and uncertainty. 2. Embrace the beauty of imperfection Wabi-sabi is an ancient Japanese design aesthetic and spiritual philosophy centered around imperfection and impermanence; it embraces characteristics and lessons found in nature, like roughness, simplicity, and the fact that “nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.” In Mike Sturm’s new book, The Wabi-Sabi Way, he presents those principles as an antidote to the anxiety of modern life. “Living wabi-sabi means becoming okay with things. It’s about trusting that however life may unfold, you can live in harmony with it. You don’t have to micromanage it,” he writes. “What’s more, you have the inner and outer resources for the moment at hand.” Finding that sense of “okayness” is about releasing expectations and a desire to control things and focusing on how things are, not how you wish they were. (That sounds almost impossible to do during this time, we know!) One practice Sturm recommends is called “earthing,” which is basically meditating outside and is perfect for the era of social distancing, as long as you have access to a tiny square of green space. Sit in a place where your bare feet and legs can be in contact with the grass and alternate between focusing on your breathing and the points of contact between your body and the earth. Take the time to recognize sensations like the sun or a breeze on your shoulders and the sounds and smells around you. The idea is to cultivate contentment in the present moment. In the end, Sturm writes, “We hold tight and yearn for certainty about the future, but the best we can hope for is merely to contribute rather than to control.” 3. Ask yourself: What matters most? So many aspects of regular life have been disrupted with no return to normalcy in sight. And it can be hard not to feel consumed by the uncertainty of all kinds of things—from the super serious to the mundane. What if you get sick? When will you get to travel again? When will you be able to save money again? How long until you can get back to your favorite workout class? In 10% Happier, Nightline anchor Dan Harris tells the story of his journey from having an on-air panic attack to discovering meditation as a tool for living just a little bit happier. At the end of the book, he explains how one of his guides suggested he ask himself, in difficult moments “What matters most?” At first he thought it sounded too generic to be useful, but he came to think of it as a helpful gut-check. Use it when caught up in worries about things that maybe don’t deserve the attention your brain decides to give them. “When worrying about the future, I learned to ask myself: What do I really want?” Harris says.
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7 Things I Want My Daughters to Know to Become Fearless Women
Spiritual teacher Monica Berg’s new book, Fear Is Not An Option, is a story of personal triumph and a handbook for how others can transform their lives. Here, she shares an excerpt that explains how she passes on her message of living with light and strength to her daughters. Fear is the one thing in life that consistently holds us back from achieving our goals and dreams. When we live our lives from a place of fear, we are not able to access our potential, our inherent gifts, or the blessings that are meant for us. This is why helping people to eradicate fear from their lives has become a cornerstone of my work. A life lived without fear is a life of authenticity and fulfillment, something all of us deserve and are capable of creating. RELATED: How Visualization Can Change Your Life (and Weight) I put together a list as a gift to my two daughters about how to live their lives with open hearts and without fear. This list is what I want my daughters to know, and hopefully, it will be inspiring for you as well. Fear is Not An Option: 7 Things I Want My Daughters to Know 1. Your body is part of your expression. You are physically strong. Use your body, your strong legs, your graceful hands, your sassy hips. Remain fearless in your body and don’t ever allow yourself to hate any part. Your body is perfect and strong. 2. Never be ashamed of your passions. Follow your bliss. Do what speaks to you, read about what interests you, be friends with the people you like, and don’t let others’ opinions about what you love embarrass you. Never give up on who you are or what you believe in for someone else. You are 100 percent worthwhile and whole, just as you are. 3. Make friends. As Epicurus stated, “Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one’s entire life in happiness, the greatest by far, is the possession of friendship.” Always be open to making new friends. Old friends who are true are not going to be alienated by new friends. Not every friend will stay in your life forever, and that’s okay. Some friends come to us at particular times of life and then go when that time period is over. While it hurts to lose a friend, it should never keep you from being open and sharing yourself with new people. Remember, everyone in your life started out as a stranger. 4. Talk to me—even if we disagree. You can always tell me what you are feeling or thinking, even if you know I will disagree. It’s okay to disagree with me. I want you to feel safe to express any emotion, and share any scenario with me. Know that I love you unconditionally and there is nothing you could ever do or say that will make me stop loving you. You have a unique voice and I always want to hear it. I learn from you all the time and I don’t want to miss any of the lessons you have to teach me. 5. You are BEAUTIFUL. I know I’m your mom and you sense bias, but it’s the truth. In your face I see the baby you were, the beautiful girl you are today, and the woman you will one day become. Know your worth and your value. Don’t waste years of your life trying to convince yourself that you are beautiful and powerful and special. You are. Don’t waste your time feeling less-than. You are more than enough and you will accomplish great things. 6. You are your own person. You and I have many things in common, but you aren’t me. You are not destined to live the life I have or experience the same challenges. Your path is your own and I want very much to help guide you where your unique spirit needs to take you. 7. It’s them, not you. Nearly every time someone hurts you, lashes out, or says something that makes you feel insecure or unworthy, it’s a manifestation of their own pain. It has very little to do with you, other than you happened to be in their proximity. Everyone is fighting their own battles and conflicts will arise. People will be hurtful or nasty and yes, it will hurt. Just remember, it’s really not about you, it’s about them. While you can learn something from the experience you do not need to accept their judgments as facts. Excerpted from Fear Is Not An Option, now available on Amazon and Audible.
