Why We Should Stop Using The Words ‘Moderation’, ‘Willpower’ and ‘Guilt’

You wouldn’t have polished off that pint of Ben & Jerry’s had you had more willpower, right? Weakling. But, then again, you tried to eat in moderation, and anything is fine in moderation, right? And besides, you had a guilt-free dinner first, so you have no reason to feel guilty. Ugh! If all those online posts, pins, videos and inspirational quotes have been feeding you empowering, good-for-you motivations, then why are you feeling full and mentally crappy at 10 p.m. after a single ice cream overindulgence? Are we (meaning those of us who are nutritionists, fitness professionals, etc.) giving advice that is doing more harm than good? Are those of us who are looking for motivation really paying attention to our sources for inspiration or the true meaning behind the messages? The truth is, all of those messages of empowerment and encouragement to eat in moderation, use a little willpower and go guilt-free, could be having the opposite effect and actually hindering your health goals. So, I want to declare, here and now, a ban on the words “moderation, “willpower” and “guilt”. Willpower, Moderation and Guilt: 3 Words I Don’t Use The fact is, social media quotes can sure look pretty, but some of them are doing the exact opposite of what they are intended to do, and it makes me cringe when I see something like this:     Willpower Willpower is a term that gets a lot of positive attention. But, actually, it’s a term that is very negative. Have you ever said, “I’m not going to eat the cake!” or “I’m not going to eat the pasta!” It’s all negative energy. Why should we focus so much energy on pushing ourselves to not do things? I have found with my clients that this just doesn’t work. First, it can create stress, and we know what that does: It increases cortisol, a stress hormone. This can cause weight around the midsection, and make us crave the worst types of food. If you’re “stressing out” about eating the pasta, guess what? You may gain weight (without even eating the pasta, due to stress). You’re also likely going to end up eating it, too, because cortisol causes you to crave it more. I say focusing on positive behaviors trumps willpower every day of the week. I have my clients focus on the cans: you can have the blueberries and a cup of green tea that you love, or you can have a small bowl of pasta as a side dish with a big ole portion of veggies and some lean protein as your main course. Trust me. This works. And, by the way, willpower is actually like a muscle, but the more you use it, the more it gets worn out. This is why we eventually break when we push ourselves to create good behaviors out of willpower. Moderation Everything in moderation seems like such an accepting way to approach goals, right? Wrong. It’s way too abstract to be effective. Ask anybody what “everything in moderation” means to them and each person will give you a different answer. What does moderation really mean to you? The first problem with this is that when it comes to food, there are some foods that should never be eaten. Yes, just as there are healthy foods, there are also some unhealthy foods. Which is not to say you’re a bad person or an unhealthy person for eating them. As an example, fluorescent orange fried things out of a bag are unhealthy foods. There is no moderation here. Again, this doesn’t mean that you’ve blown your healthy lifestyle if you do indulge here, but there is no serving that is considered moderation. Again, the word is just kind of meaningless. Wine? Technically two drinks a day for men (no thanks to the new dietary guidelines!) and one for women is moderation. But my guess is someone would say double that is moderation, or others can justify drinking nothing during the week but as much as they want on the weekends. Chocolate? Well this depends on other indulgences that are eaten and will vary from person to person. For some, a half ounce a day is moderation. For others, an entire chocolate bar in one sitting once a month is moderation. Broccoli? No moderation. Please indulge more. I think you get the point. Moderation is often used as an excuse to do or eat something or stray from a healthy diet. While the “everything in moderation” mantra sounds reasonable, it can often be used as an excuse to expand on poor behavior or confuse people about reasonable goals. Better to educate that same client to think about eating empowered and what she can eat, or teaching him how many conscious indulgences he can work into his plan. It’s all about the mindset behind the actual eating of the cookie.     Guilt-free The term “guilt-free” is a master for motivating misery.  If guilt doesn’t exist in the first place, there is nothing to be free from. In order to learn to never feel guilt around food, we need to stop attaching guilt to it, even in the “guilt-free” way. “Guilt-free” cookies? Eat this chicken parm “guilt-free”? Isn’t that really saying that if we ate it another way, we should feel guilty? I know it’s supposed to be positive, but really it’s just exacerbating the feelings of guilt around food. If you choose to eat chicken parmesan, it should be a conscious indulgence. It’s a choice you make to enjoy something delicious that you love, and one that you make willingly from a place of empowerment, knowing you can listen to your body and enjoy. There is no guilt in that, ever. And therefore changing the ingredients, or baking instead of frying, for example, should not somehow make that meal “guilt-free.”  It just makes it healthier, which is all good in my book Bottom line: We don’t feel empowered eating “guilt-free”; we feel empowered eating

What Do Your Food Cravings Really Mean?

Q: Why Do I Get Food Cravings, and What Do They Mean? A: Food cravings may sometimes arise from old habits or memories (like the smell of your grandmother’s chocolate chip cookies…mmm). However, while most of the research is young and doesn’t show a direct link between specific cravings and nutrient deficiencies, there is some evidence pointing to food cravings as your body’s natural, instinctive way of letting you know you that you need more of an important nutrient. Listening to your biology isn’t easy in today’s world, but it’s crucial here, especially since cravings may direct you towards a false fix, like processed foods and sugary treats, which will temporarily alleviate the craving but won’t get at the root of the issue. I stopped by The Doctors recently to share a few of the most common food cravings and what your body may be telling you when you have them, and I’ll break them down for you, here. Crave This, Eat That The Craving: French fries What It Means: If you’ve got a hankering for fries or other salty snacks like potato chips and pretzels, you could be slightly dehydrated. Hey, it’s always great to drink more water, so start there. But it could also mean you need calcium, since studies have shown a marginal deficiency of the mineral could stimulate the desire for salt, and others have shown women on low-calcium diets crave salty food more. How to Satisfy It: If you indulge the craving, the salt will temporarily increase calcium levels in the blood, essentially tricking the body into thinking it’s taking in calcium when it’s not. Instead, reach for calcium-rich foods like yogurt, kefir, almonds, tofu, sesame seeds, and sardines. The Craving: Chocolate cupcakes What It Means: An overactive sweet tooth may be a signal that you’re magnesium deficient, according to research. And while magnesium deficiency is not proven to cause PMS symptoms, some studies have shown increasing the amount of the mineral your diet can decrease PMS symptoms such as irritability, fluid retention, and headaches. I don’t know about you, but for me, those symptoms often lead to cravings for a bottomless tub of chocolate ice cream. How to Satisfy It: A diet rich in foods such as spinach, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains will ensure that you don’t become magnesium deficient. Then, you can eat sugary treats as conscious indulgences, when it’s really worth it, rather than constantly fighting the urge. The Craving: A juicy burger What It Means: Here’s a case where your body’s sending you a clear signal. A strong craving for meat may mean you’re iron-deficient. In fact, studies show that in pregnant women and others with iron deficiencies, food cravings serve to prevent or alleviate the nutritional deficit. How to Satisfy It: Go ahead, grill up a grass-fed, organic burger, since red meat is the best source of iron. You can also get it from fish and poultry, or if you’re a vegetarian, in tofu, legumes (lentils and kidney beans), nuts (cashews and almonds), seeds (pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds), oatmeal, dried fruit (apricots and raisins), and vegetables (mushrooms and potatoes). Just keep in mind that it’s harder for the body to absorb iron from plant-based sources. To help, pair iron-rich foods with foods rich in vitamin C, as it will help your body absorb the iron. The bottom line? Listen up! Your body has got a lot to say. Your food cravings may be telling you a lot more than, “Do not pass go, head straight for the nearest Shake Shack.”