7 Things I Want My Daughters to Know to Become Fearless Women

Spiritual teacher Monica Berg’s new book, Fear Is Not An Option, is a story of personal triumph and a handbook for how others can transform their lives. Here, she shares an excerpt that explains how she passes on her message of living with light and strength to her daughters. Fear is the one thing in life that consistently holds us back from achieving our goals and dreams. When we live our lives from a place of fear, we are not able to access our potential, our inherent gifts, or the blessings that are meant for us. This is why helping people to eradicate fear from their lives has become a cornerstone of my work. A life lived without fear is a life of authenticity and fulfillment, something all of us deserve and are capable of creating. RELATED: How Visualization Can Change Your Life (and Weight) I put together a list as a gift to my two daughters about how to live their lives with open hearts and without fear. This list is what I want my daughters to know, and hopefully, it will be inspiring for you as well. Fear is Not An Option: 7 Things I Want My Daughters to Know 1. Your body is part of your expression. You are physically strong. Use your body, your strong legs, your graceful hands, your sassy hips. Remain fearless in your body and don’t ever allow yourself to hate any part. Your body is perfect and strong. 2. Never be ashamed of your passions. Follow your bliss. Do what speaks to you, read about what interests you, be friends with the people you like, and don’t let others’ opinions about what you love embarrass you. Never give up on who you are or what you believe in for someone else. You are 100 percent worthwhile and whole, just as you are. 3. Make friends. As Epicurus stated, “Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one’s entire life in happiness, the greatest by far, is the possession of friendship.” Always be open to making new friends. Old friends who are true are not going to be alienated by new friends. Not every friend will stay in your life forever, and that’s okay. Some friends come to us at particular times of life and then go when that time period is over. While it hurts to lose a friend, it should never keep you from being open and sharing yourself with new people. Remember, everyone in your life started out as a stranger. 4. Talk to me—even if we disagree. You can always tell me what you are feeling or thinking, even if you know I will disagree. It’s okay to disagree with me. I want you to feel safe to express any emotion, and share any scenario with me. Know that I love you unconditionally and there is nothing you could ever do or say that will make me stop loving you. You have a unique voice and I always want to hear it. I learn from you all the time and I don’t want to miss any of the lessons you have to teach me. 5. You are BEAUTIFUL. I know I’m your mom and you sense bias, but it’s the truth. In your face I see the baby you were, the beautiful girl you are today, and the woman you will one day become. Know your worth and your value. Don’t waste years of your life trying to convince yourself that you are beautiful and powerful and special. You are. Don’t waste your time feeling less-than. You are more than enough and you will accomplish great things. 6. You are your own person. You and I have many things in common, but you aren’t me. You are not destined to live the life I have or experience the same challenges. Your path is your own and I want very much to help guide you where your unique spirit needs to take you. 7. It’s them, not you. Nearly every time someone hurts you, lashes out, or says something that makes you feel insecure or unworthy, it’s a manifestation of their own pain. It has very little to do with you, other than you happened to be in their proximity. Everyone is fighting their own battles and conflicts will arise. People will be hurtful or nasty and yes, it will hurt. Just remember, it’s really not about you, it’s about them. While you can learn something from the experience you do not need to accept their judgments as facts. Excerpted from Fear Is Not An Option, now available on Amazon and Audible.

Stacia’s Inspirational Marathon Story

I’ve had a simple goal for the past 11 years: to give my children the best childhood I possibly can. I’m juggling work, marriage, parenting and my sanity all the time. For 11 years I have told myself “it’s not my time” to push my exercise. “It’s not my time” to sleep in on a Sunday. “It’s not my time” to take on a hobby. It is my time to freeze on the soccer field, cry at kindergarten graduations, volunteer on field trips and lay the foundation for my children so they can thrive and flourish. While the kids are at school, I kick into professional mode. At work as a nutritionist, it’s my time to laser focus on my clients, their goals, health and wellness. Both my kids and my clients inspire me. I’m grateful that they give me purpose and I feel rewards in my hard work all the time.  I’ve decided “it’s still not my time” for me to take center stage in my own life, but I really need to spend more time working on myself with purpose. A month before my 40th birthday, I decided to train and run the NYC marathon. Before June I had never run a mile. I’m doing this crazy 26.2 as a charity fundraiser for Dylan Hockley, a friend lost in the Sandy Hook tragedy in December 2012. My family lived in Newtown for 5 years and some of my closest friends still live there. It has been impossibly hard and painful not to see them and hug them daily. As I run, I’m pounding out my feelings of being haunted with sadness and grief. I’m thinking of Dylan, who loved purple and butterflies, and hopeful that my run will contribute to a legacy of goodness that came from him and his amazing family. I’m thinking of my children and hopeful that the hours away from them, training, focusing on my body and endurance will teach them that their bodies are full of potential. If I can do this, so can they. I’m thinking of my clients, who have run marathons with an extra 50 pounds on them, or after a fight with near deadly cancer, or after menopause, a life change or terrible loss. If they can do it, so can I. I’m thinking of how good it feels to be a road warrior. Fit. Strong. Tired. Hungry. Blistered. Injured. Emotional. I’m thinking how grateful I am to have a family I adore. A boss (I call Keri Boss-lady) who supports me like a sister. And an army of women, friends, fathers, children and loved ones who bring me to tears with their encouragement. I’m running for a giant bowl of orecchiette with broccoli rabe, garlic and spicy tomato sauce, a cold beer, a hot bath and my bed. It has been terrifying and brilliant to take this time for myself. So far in my training, I’ve run 18 miles (it isn’t pretty, but that’s ok). What I have learned is that we are not limited by our bodies. Our minds are the place we get stuck, discouraged, polluted. For any of you who feel like it isn’t your time, or that you aren’t a good enough runner to do a marathon, or that there’s always next year, I hope my journey inspires you. I know it has inspired my children and my clients, which in turn inspires me to get through one more mile. You don’t need tragic motivation to run a marathon. You just need to decide it is your time, and take it. There is always a finish line waiting for you.