5 Expert Tips to Manage Uncertainty During a Seriously Difficult Time

Remember when you used to have some idea of what your next few months would look like? Maybe you had a daily workout-work-home schedule that varied a little day-to-day but was mostly pretty consistent? Maybe you were looking forward to big things you had planned months or years in the future (vacations! weddings!) and also had financial and career goals that you felt like you could accurately chart over the next five years? And now, since the COVID-19 pandemic started, it’s become clear that the only thing any of us can be certain of is that we’re all going to be living with a lot of uncertainty for quite a while. We don’t know when cases will start to really decline, and when it seems like things are getting better, they get worse. We don’t know when a vaccine will be ready. Many people have been laid off and don’t know when—or even if—they’ll get their jobs back. Parents don’t know if their kids will be going back to school. Even the disease itself is unpredictable, which can make the fear of it even worse. And studies show that while more research is needed, the stress of uncertainty is associated with negative mental health outcomes. The good news is: While the amount of uncertainty we all have to deal with at the same time is new, the problem itself is embedded in the human condition. (Let’s be honest: We can’t ever really predict what’s going to happen minute to minute.) So, many psychologists and meditation and mindfulness experts have been thinking about the question of how to manage it for a very long time. To help you muddle through this stressful time, we pulled together some of their best advice on living with and managing uncertainty. And here’s something to look forward to: many experts believe that learning to do so will help you build resilience for a happier life long-term, no matter what in the world is happening. 5 Mindfulness Tips to Manage Uncertainty 1. “Say hello” to suffering Both COVID-19 and the movement for racial justice require constant interaction with suffering—whether you’re the one affected or are watching it all play out on CNN. And the uncertainty of when the suffering will ease or end is difficult to handle. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of the most legendary Buddhist monks and global spiritual teachers. In his book, No Mud, No Lotus, he says that while the urge to ignore or distract ourselves from suffering is strong (i.e. swap CNN for Netflix?), doing so will only make it worse. Happiness is not about avoiding suffering, he says, it’s learning “the art of suffering well,” and that means facing it without letting it consume you.  “The first step in the art of transforming suffering is to come home to our suffering and recognize it,” he writes. Mindfulness practices can help you do that. When you’re focused on building awareness of the present moment, you can recognize suffering, “tenderly embrace” it, and then transform it. That could be as simple as stopping to recognize tension or pain in your body, where you’ve been holding onto suffering and uncertainty.  2. Embrace the beauty of imperfection Wabi-sabi is an ancient Japanese design aesthetic and spiritual philosophy centered around imperfection and impermanence; it embraces characteristics and lessons found in nature, like roughness, simplicity, and the fact that “nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.”  In Mike Sturm’s new book, The Wabi-Sabi Way, he presents those principles as an antidote to the anxiety of modern life. “Living wabi-sabi means becoming okay with things. It’s about trusting that however life may unfold, you can live in harmony with it. You don’t have to micromanage it,” he writes. “What’s more, you have the inner and outer resources for the moment at hand.” Finding that sense of “okayness” is about releasing expectations and a desire to control things and focusing on how things are, not how you wish they were. (That sounds almost impossible to do during this time, we know!) One practice Sturm recommends is called “earthing,” which is basically meditating outside and is perfect for the era of social distancing, as long as you have access to a tiny square of green space. Sit in a place where your bare feet and legs can be in contact with the grass and alternate between focusing on your breathing and the points of contact between your body and the earth. Take the time to recognize sensations like the sun or a breeze on your shoulders and the sounds and smells around you. The idea is to cultivate contentment in the present moment. In the end, Sturm writes, “We hold tight and yearn for certainty about the future, but the best we can hope for is merely to contribute rather than to control.” 3. Ask yourself: What matters most? So many aspects of regular life have been disrupted with no return to normalcy in sight. And it can be hard not to feel consumed by the uncertainty of all kinds of things—from the super serious to the mundane. What if you get sick? When will you get to travel again? When will you be able to save money again? How long until you can get back to your favorite workout class? In 10% Happier, Nightline anchor Dan Harris tells the story of his journey from having an on-air panic attack to discovering meditation as a tool for living just a little bit happier. At the end of the book, he explains how one of his guides suggested he ask himself, in difficult moments “What matters most?” At first he thought it sounded too generic to be useful, but he came to think of it as a helpful gut-check. Use it when caught up in worries about things that maybe don’t deserve the attention your brain decides to give them. “When worrying about the future, I learned to ask myself: What do I really want?” Harris says.

How To Help My Clients Stop Binge Eating When They’re Stressed

Ask Keri: How can I help my clients stop binge eating when they’re stressed? Keri Says: Life is stressful and it seems like over the past year, life has really overachieved at this. Sigh. An endless barrage of unpleasant news stories, uncertainty about the economy, and the normal day-to-day stressors we all come up against and you have a recipe for an uptick in stress, anxiety and the emotional eating fallout that comes with. Many people have been experiencing “binge eating” to a level that is far from their norm. Stress increases appetite and cravings for sugary, high-fat foods that provide a quick rush of stress-relieving serotonin and dopamine. What does this do? It makes us want more and more of these types of food. Food addiction is also a real thing. It’s also important to note that “binge eating” is often used by clients in this context: “I binged on cookies over the weekend while watching football with friends.” They may have emotionally overeaten but they may or may not have an actual binge eating disorder (BED). Clinically, binge eating refers to consuming a large amount of food in a short period while feeling a loss of control, often accompanied by guilt or distress. BED is a diagnosable condition included in the DSM-5 and requires meeting specific criteria. It is best to use the terms such as overeat, or emotionally overeat to avoid confusion unless a person truly has BED. Here’s how you can help your clients stop this cycle right in its tracks. Identify Triggers First, you need to help your client identify triggers leading to emotional eating. Some people don’t realize that emotions are influencing certain eating patterns. Ask your clients (or yourself) if their having cravings after watching the news? Do they down a bag of chips after every power struggle with their child about doing homework? Are they scrolling through a full email inbox as they eat lunch? Identifying the situations/emotions that trigger eating is the first step to controlling it. RELATED: Nutritious Life Emotional Eating Course Control Triggers Once you’ve identified triggers, then it’s time to develop controls for these triggers. In other words, a plan of action to combat them. This is going to look different for every person. I like to think of controls in two ways: food controls and non-food controls. Food controls are for those times that a person is truly hungry and/or it’s meal time. Non-food controls are for when there is no true hunger. Having a control (aka plan) on its own often helps a person to feel more calm and thus, less likely to emotionally eat. A food control is something that will satisfy a craving without causing a person to “eat around” a craving. For example, if someone is craving something sweet, a sliced apple paired with a tablespoon of peanut butter and a drizzle of honey may do the trick. It’s substantial enough and sweet enough to provide satisfaction. In the mood to crunch? Celery sticks won’t cut it if there is true hunger involved, but a tortilla, cut into quarters and baked with a sprinkle of sea salt and served with a tablespoon of guacamole may. Having a go-to control food for when a person is feeling triggered (but also truly hungry) is key. A few examples of non-food controls are calling a friend (I know, I know, you’ve heard it before, but it works!), doing a face mask, dropping and doing ten push ups (it just resets your mindset) or even cleaning a drawer can all stop the urge to emotionally eat. What is key here is to find an activity that will actually relieve stress, delay and distract eating and change a person’s frame of mind. Whether it’s a stressful election, the holiday season or just the daily hustle, stress and other triggers of emotional eating are unavoidable. But, having controls can dramatically reduce unwanted outcomes from acting on those triggers. Helping clients find food and non-food related ways to cope will not only support their efforts to maintain healthy eating habits, but will also improve their overall health and wellness. It’s a win-win, if you ask me. (Featured photo: Shutterstock)

How to De-stress for a Zen Holiday Season

The entire holiday season can be an exercise in learning how to de-stress. From talking politics at the table to the mania of shopping-baking-decorating to managing your budget. But here’s a tip to allay your worries: you don’t have to skip it all and book a silent retreat in order to find calm. By simply following the core principles of living a nutritious life, it’s possible to balance your hormones and tap into your inner Zen. Start with these five research-tested tips. How to de-stress during the holidays 1. Sleep Deep. Lack of adequate sleep is linked to mood disorders like anxiety and depression and also to weight gain, which can raise levels of cortisol, that nasty “stress hormone” that throws your mind and body out of whack in major ways. If you’re having trouble establishing a consistent routine amid holiday commitments, try outfitting your sleep space with tools like a Sunrise Simulation Alarm Clock, which will wake you gradually with the light of a simulated sunrise so you hop out of bed with maximum energy and keep your circadian rhythms in check. 2. Live consciously. All it takes is five to ten minutes of peace per day. Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years, and in modern times has been shown to effectively reduce stress. Set aside a block of time and stick to it, whether that means just sitting still and focusing on your breath, trying a guided meditation via an app, or even going on a quiet stroll through the park. Just remember, don’t get caught up in meditating the “right way,” which will just lead to more stress. Do what is best for you. 3. Eat empowered. A sugar rush from refined carbs makes you feel good in the moment, but when the blood sugar comes down, you feel depressed and beat yourself up for having eaten that third cookie. Instead, focus on making sure your diet contains specific nutrients associated with stress relief. Dark green leafy vegetables and whole grains contain folic acid, a B vitamin, which is considered a mood stabilizer and a precursor to serotonin—a “feel good” hormone. Almonds are rich in vitamins B2 and E, magnesium, and zinc, nutrients associated with fighting the free radicals linked to stress in the heart. Plus, crunching down on them can be satisfying in managing feelings of aggression. 4. Nurture yourself. Pampering yourself may take up a little time, but the relaxation benefits will be worth it. Essential oils have been used in traditional medicine for centuries, and breathing in certain scents can make a huge difference in your mood. A couple days a week, take two extra minutes to light a therapy candle, apply a calming, scented moisturizer, or to give your pillow a spritz of relaxing lavender-scented spray. 5. Sweat often. Research has shown exercise can be a super effective strategy for reducing anxiety, and it boosts endorphins, which can make us happy and distract us from our daily worries. It also has other effects that can tangentially help you de-stress, like helping you sleep better at night and boosting self-confidence. One easy way to get motivated to move more? Try a fitness tracker like the FitBit Charge, which will give you fun feedback on how much you’re walking, running, and even breathing. Again, it’s all connected.   This blog was created in partnership with Withings.